Lantash's Fears
by Meushell
Summary: As they continue to adjust to being blended, Lantash and his new host must face the Goa'uld they both hate. Sequel to Lantash.
1. Among the Tau'ri

Title: Lantash's Fears  
Author: Meushell  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, then it's not mine.  
Summary: As they continue to adjust to being blended, Lantash and Narim must face the Goa'uld they both hate.  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: (Season Two) In the Line of Duty, The Tok'ra, (Season Three) Divide and Conquer (Season Four) Between Two Fires, Land Stand, (Season Eight) Affinity  
Sequel from: _Lantash_ (I'll be writing it so it is possible to understand this without reading _Lantash_.)  
Parings: Sam/Lantash/Narim (Ok, that's not really a _pair_ing, is it?)

Part 1, Among the Tau'ri

--Lantash--

I'm so flat against the dirt that I can taste it. I hear the shot of a Jaffa staff weapon go over my head. With the zat'nikatel in my hand, I dare take a look, and fire. I duck down as I see another shot coming, not knowing if my own shot hit the Jaffa or not.

"Move out!" are the words of Captain Garcia, the new commander of SG-14.

I let myself slide down the hill, and knowing the Jaffa are coming, break out into a full run to the Chaapa'ai.

Slow down, I hear my host say.

I realize I am outrunning the rest of the team by a long ways. I slow down, but still keep ahead of them. My hands grace over the dialing device when I reach the Chaapa'ai.

_I cannot believe our luck,_ Narim thinks as I input the GDO code. _Our first mission here. It was supposed to be a peaceful mission! His frustration seems to be pouring off him, and all into me._

I run up the steps, and stop to wait for the rest. They arrive in seconds.

"Go! Go!" Captain Garcia shouts at me as they head up the stairs.

I follow her command, and go into the Chaapa'ai. All four members of the SG-14 follow me soon after, and a staff fire follows them. It misses all of us, and hits the wall on the other side.

"Close the iris!" I hear Captain Garcia yell.

Whoever is in the control center is probably very happy to comply.

I leave the gateroom quickly, as it still makes me uncomfortable. I pause in the hallway outside of it to gather my thoughts. It's hard to believe what has become of my life. I am a Tok'ra, and my host Narim was Tollan. We now live on earth, the planet all humans originated from. It's been six months since Narim and I escaped from the Goa'uld Zar's prison. Narim's people were destroyed by the Goa'uld. As for mine, the Tok'ra, they don't even know I'm still alive.

To be continued...


	2. The Lie

(JDee alien freak, hope you enjoy the rest. Thanks for the review. Lalene Brooks, glad you have enjoyed my other Tok'ra fics. I found a beta, but I'll keep you in mind if he stops beta-ing.  
Also, thanks to those who reviewed _Martouf _and _Something's Up _if you are reading.)

Part 2, The Lie

---5½ months earlier---

--Lantash--

"It's the Tok'ra signal," says one of the technicians, who I believe is called Walter.

Samantha and I had been in the control room at the time by luck. She was showing me some of the addresses, and Narim and I told her what we knew about those planets.

"Open the iris," Samantha responds, as she is the most senior person there. She turns to me. "Do you wish to-"

"I'll stay," I answer, knowing she was asking if I would want to leave.

_If you get annoyed, you can always throw me in control_, Narim offers.

I chuckle lightly, acting as if I am not at all nervous. However I am greatly relieved when I see Jacob/Selmak, and only Jacob/Selmak, come through.

Samantha hurries down the steps. "Dad!"

I follow, though at a normal walking pace. "Jacob."

Jacob smiles. "How's life on earth?"

"Good. Samantha took me to a park. We fed ducks, but other birds stole the bread meant for the ducks. Next week, she wants to take me on something called a motorcycle."

Jacob chuckles, and then turns to his daughter. "Is there a place where I can talk to Lantash?"

"Uh, yeah, Dad. No one is using the briefing room right now."

His eyes glow as he turns to me. "Lantash, if you will."

I nod, and head for the briefing room. Selmak follows me, and Sam follows until we reach the briefing room.

I turn to Selmak as she closes the door, and wait for whatever she has to say. I am sure of what it is. The Tok'ra want my return. There is no other reason Selmak would return here to talk to me. _I wonder how long we have left on earth_, I think. _A day? An hour? I hope we ha-_

"I did not tell the Tok'ra you were still alive," Selmak says.

I must look surprised. I sure feel surprised. "What?"

"I gave them the entire mission report, but left out anything involving you."

A smile starts to form as the shock wears off. "Why?"

"Jacob and I heard you ask Samantha if you could stay on earth, and you made no sign of wanting to return to the Tok'ra."

I realize Selmak must still feel guilty for everything I went through. "Selmak, you didn't have to-"

"I chose to do this, Lantash. It is the only way Jacob and I can make up for abandoning you...for assuming you were dead. I hope someday you do return to us, but when you do, I want it to be when you want to."

I know Selmak could get into a lot of trouble if the Tok'ra learn she knew I was alive and lied about it. "Thank you."

---Back in Present---

--Narim--

"Lantash?"

I jump slightly. "Samantha." I smile. I love the sound of her voice. It makes me feel safe, which is why I used it for my house on Tollana.

_You did what?_

_Never mind, Lantash._

She looks over my clothes. "Mission didn't turn out well?"

"We ran into some Jaffa."

Captain Garcia walks into the hallway. "Lantash, our briefing is in an hour. Good job." She leaves, and the rest of the team follow.

"You probably should go shower," Samantha says.

_Do we smell_? Lantash asks.

_I don't know._

_You are the one in control._

_I am not going to smell myself, Lantash._

Samantha looks amused, though by now she was used to Lantash and I talking to each other. I start heading to the locker room, and she follows. She tells us about a new device she had found, and was hoping she could figure out what it was. On the same time, Lantash was telling me how great it would be if Samantha followed us into the locker room. I am having a hard time listening to both at once.

We reach the man's locker room, and to Lantash's disappointment, Samantha does not follow us in it.

_You knew she wouldn't._

_I knew, but a symbiote can dream, can't he?_

I know often late at night, while I sleep, Lantash keeps the horrid memories away by watching television. Comments like these make me wonder, what on earth is he watching?

--

After the briefing room, O'Neill asks if we would like to go on another mission. I think he is still unsure how to treat us. Officially we are guests, but we've been helping on the base as much as we could. We've also been here longer than a normal guest would stay.

Feeling the need to help out, Lantash and I agree.

"Perhaps you can go on the mission to P9X-102."

"Is that not the planet SG-1 is going in two days?" Lantash asks.

"Yes, is that a problem?"

I am not sure if he is being sarcastic or sincere. I do know he was startled by Lantash suddenly being in control.

"No, just surprised," Lantash responds.

"SG-1 used to have four people, and now it has three. Both you and Narim have worked with everyone on the team before. You'll fit right in." He seems to smirk, and then leaves.

_...He just assigned us to the mission, right? _I ask.

_Yes, I believe so._

--Lantash--

It's been two days since I was assigned to go to P9X-102...they have a most odd way of naming the planets. It's suppose to be another peaceful mission, but I'm not convinced until we get back, and it was peaceful.

I knock on the door to Samantha's office. It's not quite time to go yet.

"Come in."

I enter, and look around. "Samantha."

She smiles. "Lantash."

"Well, today's mission is only suppose to take about three hours."

She nods to confirm.

"Then the showering and briefing should take at most two hours."

"Yes," she says slowly, wondering what my point is.

"Afterwards, Samantha, would you like to have dinner?"

"Well, we've eaten dinner in-" She smiles. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"It's been six months since we asked if you would consider dating us. If you need more time I understand."

"Yes, I would love to have dinner with you." She is still smiling.

I smile in return.

She moves closer, but then stops. "Oh-Daniel!" she says in surprise.

Figuring it out, I turn and see Daniel in the doorway. He looks slightly uncomfortable. "Sorry, I was just, uh well." He clears his throat. "Perhaps, I should..." he gestures out the door.

"No need, Daniel," I say. "I need to leave and get ready for the mission." I head out.

--Daniel--

I knew they liked each other, but I admit I'm surprised. I smile towards Sam. "Your first date since Pete."

"Uh, yeah, it is. Kind of knew it would be him. We just needed more time."

"Well, that's great Sam." I knew Lantash and Narim both cared for her, perhaps even loved her. She had kept quiet about how she felt about them but I knew how much it hurt her to lose them.

Teal'c walked in, and heard the last thing I said. I could see he was curious, but was too polite to ask what I meant. "Sam has a date," I offer.

"With whom is she currently in relations with?"

"Narim and Lantash," Sam answers.

The look on Teal'c shows he approves. "Lantash and Narim are great warriors in the battle against the Goa'uld."

"Thank you, Teal'c." She checks the time."It's about time to head off."

To be continued...


	3. The Mission

(Telboriel and Blue Banrigh, thank you for the reviews.)

Part 3, The Mission

---Six hours later---

--Lantash--

I knew it.

_The mission is still peaceful_, Narim thinks.

I was working on the dialing device that had at some point decided not to work, but it was quickly getting dark. I heard Samantha approach. "Lantash, you should return to camp. We should work on that in the morning when there is light."

Damn. I was really looking forward to that date too.

I nod lightly. "You are right." I get up, and we head back to the camp. The SGC was informed of the situation when they dialed in to check on why we were late.

Samantha frowns slightly in confusion when we return to camp, and I am a bit confused myself.

Daniel is wiping off a fairly large flat rock that wasn't previously that close to the camp. Teal'c must have brought it there. Daniel looks up. "Oh, you are faster than I thought." He starts setting food rations on the rock. "Wait." He arranges flowers and leaves in the middle of the rock, and then smiles.

"I believe it is time to for me to stand watch," Teal'c says, who had just finished heating two meals.

"Yeah, me too," Daniel says. "I'll go help Teal'c stand watch."

The two leave to apparently stand watch with their dinner.

Samantha smiles when sees the table. "It looks like we get our date after all."

_Get her flowers_, Narim thinks.

"Oh, uh, yes." I find myself suddenly nervous while I look for flowers. I spot a bush with long flowers, and know from experience that they are not poisonous. Perfect. I pick several of those, and then tie them up with some of the thin leaves. "For you, Samantha."

She smiles as she takes the flowers. "Thank you."

I smile in return. "I'll help you..." In the Tau'ri movies I've seen the males help the females with their chairs on dates. We don't have any chairs. "...sit."

She laughs, and sits down by the rock. I sit opposite of her, and allow Narim control. "Would you like water," he asks, as he balances the canteens on the rock as if they are glasses.

"Thank you." She looks to the food rations. "On our menu today we have chicken, macaroni and cheese, more macaroni and cheese, and vegetable chicken."

"I'll have the macaroni and cheese," Narim says, as if he is in a fine restaurant we have seen on Tau'ri television.

"Excellent choice," she says. "I believe I'll have the vegetable chicken." She starts heating the meals, while Narim puts the other two meals away.

Narim and I switch control as we eat. We talk about many things, including our childhoods. My childhood was rather boring as it consisted of swimming around in a tank, and after maturing, waiting for my queen to find me a willing host. She tells us where she had planned to take us, but won't tell us what she planed to wear when Narim asks. Samantha says that now she can wear it for the second date. She does however tell us what we would have been wearing.

I think she likes to dress us.

We continue talking after we ate dinner, but soon afterwards she thinks it might best to find Daniel and Teal'c. I feel disappointed, but know she is right. "You are correct," I say, "but may I pretend to walk you to your tent first?"

"My tent?"

"Yes, for the good night kiss."

She blushes slightly. "You don't have to walk me to my tent for that."

"Oh."

"But you can if you want to."

I smiled more. "Good." I get up and offer her my arm.

She stands, and takes my arm gently.

"I had a lovely evening," I say.

"So did I."

We reach her tent in about three steps. "Good," I reply, and touch the back of her neck gently. As an afterthought I hope my hands aren't cold.

_Me too_, Narim thinks.

Since she doesn't react negatively towards them, I think they are not. I lean in a bit, and let her meet me half way. Finding a place for my hands, the one on her neck slides down her back, and the other gently touches her arm. We kiss. I close my eyes, and enjoy the feel of a slight shiver that runs through me. I wish I could stay here, and continue to enjoy it, but instead I give control to Narim.

Narim pulls her a little closer, and hugs her gently after the kiss. His eyes are still closed as he enjoys the moment.

Somehow I feel cold when she pulls away. She smiles as she goes to get the others.

--

Damn.

"What is it?" Samantha asks.

She knows me too well. "I cannot fix this," I say as I point to the dialing device.

"What's wrong," Daniel asks. It's late the next morning, and even he has gotten bored with this planet.

"One of the crystals needed to power the dialing device is missing," I answer. "Nothing we have is substituting it."

The Chaapa'ai starts to activate.

Daniel looks at it a little alarmed. "Jack is early, isn't he?" He looks at his watch, probably comparing the time to when Jack said he would dial back.

"Take cover," Samantha orders.

I quickly hide the evidence of working on the DHD, and retreat into the trees. All four of us hide in bushes as we watch the Chaapa'ai. My eyes widen slightly as I see two figures coming through. Narim's heart is racing because of my own fears. I don't think anyone worse could have come through. I mentally sigh as I calm myself.

Tok'ra. It just had to be Tok'ra.

To be continued...


	4. Another Deception

(Stoko, thank you, and here is more. Lalene Brooks, thank you. It's always need to see what people think as they read the story. ISHA, thanks.)

Part 4, Another Deception

--Lantash--

I glance to Samantha. "Might as well show them we are here."

She looks worried for me. It's very subtle. "Are you sure?"

"We can't move without them noticing, and if they move much closer, which they will, they'll be able to sense some of us." Besides, we all know O'Neill is going to try to contact us in twenty minutes. Due to the broken dialing devise, the Tok'ra are going to be here longer than that.

"Could you hide, while we approach them?"

"That might work." I felt childish to be hiding from my own people. Actually hiding from them as opposed to just hiding out on earth made me really feel as if I was betraying them.

She glances to Daniel and Teal'c before coming up. They follow, and I stay put.

The Tok'ra quickly move weapons on them, but relax when they see who it is.

--Samantha--

The Tok'ra are familiar as I approach, but I never personally met any of them. "Hello, sorry, but you startled us. We didn't know who was coming through."

"That is understandable," replied one who's symbiote is in control.

When trying to place the name of the man who spoke, I come up with something like Kad. "We seem to have a problem," I say, noticing the second Tok'ra is approaching closer to Lantash. "The DHD isn't working. One of the crystals is missing." I hope that brings the second one back here. "Uh...is it Kad?"

The Tok'ra looks confused for a second, but then realizes I am trying to place his name. "Kaid. My host is Jike. This is Anguis and Barm."

For a second I thought he said "barn," but Jolinar's memories help me realize what he actually said.

Anguis stops, and heads back to the DHD. Thank you.

"Would you two have what is needed to fix it?" Daniel asks.

"We may," Anguis answers as he starts to open up the DHD.

Unfortunately now Kaid decides to wander over near where Lantash is. I am trying to think of something to bring him back. "Kaid, did you want to look at it?" I hope that wasn't obvious.

He returns. "Anguis has better knowledge of how to repair the dialing device." His voice then lowers. "I sense a Goa'uld in the trees. He must have been trapped here before you came."

Now what?

--Lantash--

Right after Kaid lowers his voice I see Anguis close the dialing device, and grab his zat'nikatel. Daniel looks slightly panicked.

_I think he sensed you_, Narim thinks.

I think he sensed me too.

I back away into the trees. If if must face them, at leastthey will not know I had been hiding. As the two Tok'ra are looking ready to fight, I leave the trees as if I had been standing upright this entire time.

The Tok'ra look very uneasy as I approach. They can sense me, the symbiote, but I am also wearing Tau'ri fatigues. They look more baffled as I come near. "I see we have company," I say, letting them hear the "symbiote voice," and acting as if I just came from walking around the forest.

"Who are you?" Kaid demands.

"Lantash."

"Lantash is dead."

It makes me a bit angry when someone tells me I am dead. "No, I was assumed dead, and captured by a Goa'uld."

"Who captured you?" Anguis asked, who seems to know that it is possible I am who I said I am.

"Zar," I answer with hatred.

Kaid looks a bit surprised. "Selmak rescued his host's daughter and one Tau'ri from one of Zar's prisons."

I gesture to Samantha slightly. "I know." I know they'll assume she told me.

"How did you escape?" Kaid asks.

The question angers me because I don't like talking about this, but I also have no answer. "Narim and I were in that prison for years, suffering each day and night. We barely escaped it alive! I do _not _have to speak of it!"

Kaid actually takes a step back. "It is you!" He smiles even though I just yelled at him. "Lantash!" His tone is cheerful.

_Amazing, a cheerful Tok'ra_, Narim thinks.

I'd take offense to that, but his experience before being blended never brought him face to face with a cheerful Tok'ra symbiote.

Anguis' mood goes from suspicious to happy to concerned. "Lantash, we had no idea you were still alive."

"Obviously."

Anguis looks a bit hurt by the response.

Need to change the subject. "Can you fix the Chaapa'ai?"

"I don't know yet. We may have to contact the Tok'ra to get off this planet." He again starts working on the dialing device.

I feel a slight panic in my chest at that idea.

--

I'm not entirely sure how long it's been, but the chaapa'ai is activating again.

"It's probably earth trying to contact us," Samantha tells the other Tok'ra. "They were due to contact us now."

Anguis takes in her words without indicating so. He's absorbed in his work, and by the way his eyes keep flaring, I'd say he isn't having an easy time with it.

Watching the chaapa'ai I wait for O'Neill's voice. Instead someone comes through. Someone with armor. Jaffa! I raise my zat'nikatel, and start firing. The others do the same with their own weapons. Between the guns, staff weapon, and zat'nikatels, the two Jaffa didn't really stand a chance. As the others headed for the trees, the other Tok'ra shoot at the Jaffa again with the zat'nikatels until their bodies are gone. I shoot the M.A.L.P. three times as it is a clear sign the Tau'ri are here. We soon follow the others into the forest.

As we take cover, we see more Jaffa walk through the chaapa'ai. The first few start looking around with quizzical looks, probably wondering what happened to the original first two Jaffa. Thankfully the Jaffa's sense for a near symbiote is not a strong as it is for a Tok'ra.

We continue to retreat under cover, checking the Jaffa. They don't seem to be aware we are there.

_That's familiar_, Narim thinks.

I stop. _What?_

_The symbol on their foreheads._

_Surely you know the symbols of the different Goa'uld due to my memory_, I think as I continue.

_That is why it caught my attention. It's familiar, but I do not know who it belongs to. _He brings up an image of the symbol to my mind.

Hmm, that does look familiar. I stop again, and look at the type of uniform of the Jaffa. Actually....

--Narim--

I think my heart actually stops. _Uh, Lantash, that isn't good on a human body._ I can feel a combination of fear and anger travel through him. My heart starts pounding, and my palms become sweaty. _Lantash?_

_Zar. They are Jaffa of Zar._

To be continued...


	5. Fear

(Telboriel and Stoko thanks. Sorry, my updates are slower than they were with the other stories. It's the last few weeks of school. All the projects, reports, and tests are happening now.  
Also, a bit off topic, but Blue Banrigh, if you are reading this, I can't think of a story just about Malek. I've thought of a couple, kind of AU stories, that I can include him in though. Would that meet your challenge?)

Part 5, Fear

--Lantash--

I close my eyes briefly, and force myself to feel calm. In a rarity my host is the one helping me with emotional control instead of the other way around. The others have taken notice by the time I open my eyes. I continue moving away from the Jaffa. I feel more comfortable when we are able to walk instead of crawl away from them. Kaid is quickly covering our tracks as we move, though at this speed, it would be impossible to completely cover them.

Quiet hours pass as we continue to make our way through the forest. None of us have any idea if the Jaffa found our tracks or not. The plan was to find a good place to take cover. However, we have not found a good place to hide us all where we could also fight if needed.

Narim was in control now, and the quietness was irritating him. The same question has been buzzing our heads since the Tok'ra came. Finally he asks, "What brought you to this planet?"

Anguis looks over to him quite alarmed that he spoke needlessly in this situation.

Narim shrugged lightly, knowing what the other Tok'ra was thinking. "If they can hear my whispers, then we would be hearing them. The ground is hard, and there was many of them. We'd hear their footsteps."

The sound of Jaffa steps mentally play in my mind, sending down a shiver.

Anguis seems to not want to respond, but then his host takes over. "We were hoping the Tok'ra might be able to use this for a future home if needed. That obviously is not the case not."

"I'd say not," Daniel replies as gestures forward.

Barm and Narim look forward to see what he is referring to, and see a huge pyramid, complete with a mother ship resting on it.

_Now we know why the Jaffa are here_, Narim thinks as he gave me control.

Without another word we head sideways from where we had been traveling, and take cover in the bushes.

The pyramid is new. So new that we can see people still decorating the sides. There is however, no Jaffa to be seen near the great building.

Kaid makes a slight frown. "Zar must have recently taken the planet. He was probably the one to disable the dialing device. After claiming a planet, he will often disable the means to leave the planet, or remove the chaapa'ai entirely."

The look on the faces of Samantha and Daniel are a mixture of surprise and disbelief, which probably matches my own response. Samantha asks the question that warrants such a response. "You didn't think this was important to mention before we found the pyramid?"

Narim mentally chuckles as my memories tell him how many times Martouf and I sprung just that type of news to the Tau'ri.

"We did not think it was likely that Zar had taken over this planet. Lately he has had a great deal of losses."

"He lost one of those planets after the atmosphere was filled with the Tok'ra poison." I whisper harshly. "That alone should have been enough to worry about his taking over this planet once you realized the dialing device was disabled."

"If that was the case, then the three of us would be dead."

I'm about to respond, but then Narim reminds me they have no way of knowing I have a temporary immunity to the poison. One that lasts a few days at least. Giving them such information would make Selmak's lie easy to figure out. I think briefly on what to say next. "That doesn't mean this planet will stay clear of the poison."

Kaid looks back to the pyramid, and then back to us. "We cannot send out a transmission to the Tok'ra. The Jaffa may pick up on the signal, and use it to locate us."

"If Zar disabled the DHD, then he may still have the crystal," Samantha says, and I don't like where this is going. "Can we try to get it back?" She finishes. "Have any spies we might try to contact?"

I knew I wouldn't like there that was going.

Barm and Kaid give each other looks that makes it clear the answer is yes. Kaid then turns to Samantha. "Yes, Selmak infiltrated two months ago. However since we did not know about the pyramid, it is unlikely that he is on the planet."

"When was his last report," I ask.

"A month ago."

There is no need for anyone to point out the obvious in that Selmak could have learned about this planet's fate within the last month.

"Then we try to contact my dad." Samantha looks back to the pyramid.

"If we do so, we could jeopardize his mission. Doing so-"

"Do you have any other ideas?"

Kaid looks like someone had thrown him on stage and asked him to sing. "Uh, well, perhaps...what about a rebel Jaffa?"

"I cannot be certain any free Jaffa work under Zar," Teal'c replies, looking less than pleased with the suggestion. "If they do, I do not know whom they are."

"Besides I don't think the Tok'ra would be respond well to a Jaffa contacting them," Daniel points out. "Your groups don't exactly like each other."

I know how the Tok'ra must feel. Getting a Goa'uld to trust you are not Tok'ra has been getting harder over the last few hundred years. Being discovered was not only dangerous, but often wrecked months, if not years, of work. If we were the reason Selmak was discovered, she would be, to put it lightly, be quite displeased. However, what else could we do?

I personally want to get off this planet...

...now!

Kaid sighs softly. "Perhaps Anguis or I could pose as a minor Goa'uld, claiming have been trapped on the planet. By offering service to Zar, we may be able to contact the Tok'ra, or find Selmak." He turns to me. "Unless you would like to do so?"

I know he said it so I wouldn't feel left out. As far as he is concerned I was still as much of a Tok'ra as the day I "died." However I feel my stomach clench at the thought.

"No...thanks."

Kaid nods. "Anguis?"

Anguis takes control again. "I'll take the mission. If I cannot contact the Tok'ra or find Selmak, perhaps at least I can find the missing crystal. I'll search for you ahead," he gestures to our new direction, "if I am successful." Without anymore words, he walks away...either to our rescue, or his death.

--

We walk another half hour before finding a perfect cave. The mouth of it is small, and easy to hide. There is not any signs of anyone else having been in the area, only animals.

I settle into the back, and try to clear my mind of the situation. It is more of a dirt hole than a cave, but it is much larger inside than we had expected. With everyone else still in the front of the cave, I actually have some privacy. It helps that it is dark back here. I use that privacy to curl up in the corner. Anger and fear is released through quiet tears.

I had always been so strong. Now I felt so weak.

I hated the Goa'uld in general. I always have. I've hated them for what they do to other people. I've hated them for the loss Tok'ra. I hated Bastet because she had enslaved Martouf's people for hundreds of years, and then murdered most of them. My host, Setta, had also died because of her. I hated Cronus because he was the one who sent the Ashrak after Rosha and Jolinar. I hated Sokar after my time on Netu. I hated Apophis just because he just would _not _die. I had several reasons for hating them, and other Goa'uld.

The question is...when did I start fearing them?

To be continued...


	6. Hidden Truths

(Thank you Stoko. Thank you, Whack-man Poop. Thank you, Kallicokatt. Telboriel, thanks, and good luck on your exams. Blue Banrigh, I did consider using Malek instead of Kaid or Anguis, but decided against it for plot reason. Isha, that you will see. ::grins::)

Part 6, Hidden Truths

--Lantash--

_It's probably my fault_, Narim replies.

_Your fault?_

_Well, you were brave against the Goa'uld, and then you blended with me. Now you are afraid of them._

_It is not your fault, Narim. _I look up when I hear the sound of soft footsteps. "Samantha." In the dark, I know she cannot see my tears. Any attempt to wide them away would be seen however, so I just sit up a bit more.

Samantha sits down next to him. "Teal'c and Kaid are on watch for now. I plan to take the next shift."

"I will guard with you if Daniel has not already volunteered."

She nods lightly, and I feel her hold my hand. "We'll probably be here a while." Her voice is softer. "Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?"

Narim and I both feel surprised. "What makes you think something is bothering me?"

"You are in the back corner of this cave. You've been more on edge since the Jaffa came." She continues before I respond. "More so than you normally are with Jaffa."

_I don't suppose I can just say it was you_, I think to my host.

Narim doesn't respond, and I realize how much he blames himself for how I feel.

_Narim, I am sorry. It is not your fault. I just do not know what to say to her._

_Allow me control then._

I nod my head, and feel Narim take control. He looks to Samantha. "We are both on edge as you say, since realizing who the Jaffa served."

"That's understandable."

"I believe I may be influencing his emotions, though he does not believe so."

_It's not your fault, Narim._

_I feared Zar before we blended, and now-_

_I've blended with hosts who feared the Goa'uld, and none of them had influenced me in such a way._

Wanting to explain, Narim pulls back so I have control. "I have been feeling this way before I blended with Narim. He cannot be blamed." I let out a sigh. "I understand that in situations like this, accepting the base of one's...fear, which is Zar, can help I am sure I can pass this, and become as I was." I feel guilty. I should be helping Narim with this, and instead I need to concentrate on myself instead. "We are helping each other."

"That's good."

"Samantha..."

"Yes?"

"As you might have noticed, there has been something I was trying to tell you while we were in prison."

"I noticed. I thought it was how you felt."

"No....I wanted to...apologize..."

"For what?"

I close my eyes briefly. This wasn't easy. I felt as if I was betraying... "I wanted to apologize for Jolinar," I blurt out.

From what I can see of the look on her face, I don't think she knows how to respond. "Lantash..." she finally says, "...there is no need for you to apologize."

"I disagree. She cannot apologize for herself..." I still miss her. "...for obvious reasons..." I'll never stop loving her. "So, someone should apologize for her. Martouf and I should have done this a long time ago...I guess I just...we were in denial about it." I realize how that might sound. "I don't mean we didn't believe you," I add quickly.

_I was about to tell you how that sounded_, Narim thinks.

I sigh softly. "What I mean is, what is must have been like...that is what we were in denial about. For this I apologize as well. I wish I knew the cause of her actions." I feel somehow that this apology has hurt Samantha and betrayed Jolinar.

--Samantha--

He didn't need to apologize. I can see how hard it was on him. He still loves her. It's an obvious statement, but somehow I didn't fully realize this. He loves both of us on the same time?

He needs a reply. I realize at some point I stopped holding his hand, or did he stop holding mine? He still needs a reply. "Thank you." Well, that was a horrible reply. He just hurt himself to apologize about the actions of his deceased mate of nearly a hundred years, and I say 'thank you?'

"Lantash, you should know, I forgave her a long time ago." I am not entirely sure when I did. I just know at some point when I thought about her, it was no longer accompanied with anger.

I look on his face seems almost of relief, as if he expected another response.

That's when I realize...

I've never been very good at reading people, but with Lantash, thanks to Jolinar, it seems I am beginning to be able to figure him out like I could any math problem. While it may be a bit off subject, I realize exactly why he is now afraid of the Goa'uld. "Lantash-"

"Sam." It's Daniel.

I glance from Daniel to Lantash. "I'll go see what Daniel wants."

Lantash nods, and I regretfully leave him in his corner.

--Narim--

It's been twelve days since we started living in this cave. Lantash and I haven't been able to speak with Samantha alone since he apologized to her. There has been few comments, but we worry what became of Barm and Anguis. Are they captured? Being tortured? Dead? On a more selfish note, what do we do if they don't return?

I was filling canteens by a near river. Kaid was standing watch near me. "We need to find food," I say as I stand. "We have no more rations, and we need to eat."

Kaid looks to me. "I saw some-"

A twig snaps.

Samantha, Teal'c, and Daniel were left in the cave. Who made the twig snap?

_Take over_, I think to Lantash as I give him control. He is much better than I in stealth, and that is exactly what is needed now. I feel myself crouch down. Lantash quietly stashes the canteens on himself. Leaving them to be found would not be a wise idea. He and Kaid take to bushes.

I realize there is a feel of a near symbiote. _We can know where he is then._

_That means he also knows where we are_, Lantash replies, zat'nikatel in hand.

_At least there are two of us, and one of him._

A zat'nikatel shot takes Jike/Kaid out.

Damn.

Lantash bends and grabs the back collar of Kaid's uniform. He drags him away quickly, and under a bush. He takes cover behind a tree, and waits for the sound of steps. We hear none, but instead feel the sense of a symbiote move closer. Lantash times it right, zat'nikatel in hand, moves out, and...

"Selmak?"

Jacob or Selmak lowers his weapon. "Lantash." The voice tells me that Selmak is in control, and he's surprised. "Anguis has been captured. Zar has not been able to figure out of he is telling the truth, or if he is Tok'ra."

"Can we help him?" Lantash asks, and glances to Kaid as he sits up. The news makes him feel guilty...and angry.

"Not now. Zar is not harming him in case he actually is a minor Goa'uld who wants to serve him. Anyone else here?"

I'm sure seeing Lantash here already tells him the answer to that. Lantash gestures in the direction of the cave. "SG-1"

--Selmak--

Worry comes to me when Jacob realizes his daughter is trapped here. I'm not entirely sure if the emotion came from him or me. We both want to see her, and yet we also both know the longer we are here, the more likely we are to be caught. _That would put her in danger as well_, I remind Jacob.

_I know_, he thinks regretfully, and asks for control.

I give it to him, and he starts to turn to Lantash. "Have any Jaffa come near?"

"We have not seen any signs of them near this area."

He nods lightly. "Zar doesn't have many Jaffa on the speaking. He suspects Anguis might not be alone, but probably doesn't want to thin out his army in a search. The ship is being built still, and keeping that safe is his priority." Jacob glances back to where we should be. "I need to return. Lantash, tell Sam hello for me, will you?"

Lantash smiles. "I will."

The smile makes us both wonder the status of their current relationship, but that's not important now. _Allow me control. As far as Kaid thinks, we just learned Lantash is alive. _Kaid would assume Lantash introduced himself while he was unconscious. "Lantash," I say as soon as I have control. "It's good to know you are still alive. Jacob and I regret anything you went through as the result of our assumption."

Lantash responds perfectly. "Thank you, Selmak. It is good to see both you and Jacob again."

I leave them, and head back to the ship.

---Five minutes earlier---

--Kaid--

I feel myself being dragged, and am too weak to respond. I am about to retreat, to strengthen Jike so he may fight, but then realize Lantash is the one dragging.

_Were we just shot? _Jike asks, a bit surprised to be conscious.

_Yes._

I see Lantash take cover, and quietly search for my weapon. As soon as I find it, I see Jacob/Selmak come through.

_No_, I think. Selmak can't see me, and wouldn't know who Lantash was. I want to sit up, but the pain is still great.

I see Lantash jump out, and then see who he is facing. "Selmak?"

I start to give Jike control so he can explain but for some reason, Selmak lowers his weapon. "Lantash."

What?! No, I must have heard wrong.

_How did Selmak know that was Lantash? _My host asks, which makes me realize I heard correctly. Selmak looks surprised, but I see there is no doubt in him that he is speaking with Lantash.

"Anguis has been captured," Selmak continues. "Zar has not been able to figure out of he is telling the truth, or if he is Tok'ra."

That's it. Anguis must have told Selmak everything. I make a mental chuckle, completely missing what Lantash just said. Of course Anguis told Selmak about Lantash. He obviously would want Selmak to know everyone who is involved, especially Lantash.

Selmak replies to whatever Lantash said. "Not now. Zar is not harming him in case he actually is a minor Goa'uld who wants to serve him. Anyone else here?"

"SG-1."

Selmak looks worried.

I'm confused. Why wouldn't Anguis tell Selmak about SG-1. He obviously had time to explain Lantash.

_I'm less sure about that_, Jike says.

_You're wrong, Jike. Selmak could not have possibly known Lantash was alive. He's been on earth._

_Yes, he's been on earth after his escape from Zar. Selmak helped an escape from Zar._

I feel cold. Lantash never did explain how he escaped from Zar. He completely avoided that question. Lantash hiding from the Tok'ra? Selmak lying to all the Tok'ra about Lantash being alive? Is it possible?

Selmak looks ready to leave, and I focus back on them. "Lantash," he says, "It's good to know you are still alive. Jacob and I regret anything you went through as the result of our assumption."

"Thank you, Selmak. It is good to see both you and Jacob again."

They act just as if they had just met, yet it seems...wrong. Selmak and Lantash are good friends. Their relationship to Samantha, the daughter of Selmak's host, and the last host of Lantash's mate, has made them very good friends. Selmak felt guilty for the way Lantash died. The way they acted just now...the words are perfect, but the emotion behind them is not right.

_Unless they already met_, Jike thinks.

I feel both disbelief and betrayal. Would they really commit such acts. Would they really betray the Tok'ra like that?

My host is silent.

Anguis. We must learn exactly what Anguis told Selmak.

To be continued...


	7. Ready?

Part 7, Ready?

(Pagan Twylight, thank you. I enjoy reading Tok'ra stories as well. There isn't enough Martouf/Lantash stories out there. Stoko, thanks. I hope you enjoyed my little cliffhanger.  
Small warning of language for this chapter. It's one word, but you have been warned.)

--Lantash--

_Well...now what? _Narim asks me as he walks back to the cave.

It's after his question that it occurs to me that Selmak never actually told us what to do. _I would presume we continue to wait._

_Could we fight our way in? Jacob said there were not many Jaffa._

_There are not many Jaffa compared to a System Lord. That doesn't mean there is not many._

We continue to walk without further thought, and quietly gather some food. I realize how quiet Jike and Kaid are. They must he talking to each other. We reach the cave, and tell the others about Jacob/Selmak. Afterwards, Narim makes our way to the back. I wanted to be alone, but Jike follows us. Narim looks to him, waiting for him to speak, but Jike is quiet. He just...stares at us. Slightly unnerved, Narim gives me control. I frown slightly. "If you do not have anything to say, I'd prefer to be alone."

"I noticed that," Jike replies.

How do I respond to that? "At least stop staring."

Jike blinks, glancing away, and I realize he probably didn't realize he was staring. "Lantash," he says, "I have missed working with you. The Tok'ra will be happy when you return to us."

_He can't know_, Narim states, which parallels my own thoughts. He couldn't possibly know what Selmak and I have been hiding, yet it is odd he would bring this up now. "I..." Words jumble my brain. I see Samantha approach. "Samantha." Thank you, Samantha. I love you so much right now.

Jike looks irritated, and I have a feeling Samantha knows exactly what she interrupted. She looks so innocent as she asks, "Jike, may I speak to Lantash alone?"

Jike looks yet even more irritated, but leaves to the front.

Samantha kneels down by me, and I quickly greet her with a hug. "Thank you. Thank you," I whisper quietly.

She smiles as she pulls way. "I did want to discuss something with you." She is quiet so Jike cannot hear.

"I will discuss anything you wish."

"I wanted to discuss your fears."

Can I take back my previous statement? I think the look on my face shows my wish because she adds, "You don't have to...I think there is more to it than you realize."

"After what I went through with Zar, you do not think that is enough?" I feel slightly insulted.

"Oh, no, that is not what I meant," she says quickly. "I know he is a big part of it."

"I hate him. I...fear him." The word "fear" I say with disgust. "He has caused my..._fear _for all the Goa'uld." Strange how the word "fear" is so much harder to actual say. "If I can get passed...that feeling from him, then I will get passed it for all Goa'uld."

She looks doubtful, though I am not sure if she doubts what I said or what she was thinking. Samantha is about to say something but Teal'c calls for both of us. He doesn't turn to us when we approach. "Jaffa are coming. I do not know how many." He and Kaid start shooting. Shots are return immediately, and I think we were actually fired at first. The rest of us grab the bags. There is no room for us to take position and shoot. "It is clear," Teal'c says after three shots.

"We need to leave," Kaid says.

We hurry out of the cave, and head through the forest. The sound of Jaffa are close behind. From the sound of their steps, and I cannot believe how much I hate that sound, Zar might have sent his whole army after us. Thankfully, we are a much faster. I give Narim control, so I can better help his speed. We reach a small glade, and Narim nearly runs into someone. Narim pauses. "Jacob?"

"This way," Jacob points to a new direction, and doesn't stop moving. Realizing our confusion, he speaks as we continue. "I must have been followed when I went out to find you. When I came back, I overheard the Jaffa speak of finding me and the Tok'ra I spoke to. Luckily I was able to leave before they realized I was back."

"What about Anguis?" Kaid asks.

"We need to lose the Jaffa before we can help Anguis. Hopefully Zar will concentrate his efforts on us and not him."

I feel a burn of guilt boil my blood. Zar might hurt Barm and Anguis. The idea scares and angers me.

The forest become thicker, and it becomes hard to move quickly. Narim nearly trips several times over plants he can't even see. Ten minutes later, and I see why Jacob brought us this way. The forest has ended, and we find ourselves in a rocky area, perfect for cover. SG-1 quickly starts setting something up.

_I think they are explosions_, Narim says as he gives me control.

That makes sense. I notice Jacob starts to help.

"What are they doing?" Kaid asks me, as we were left standing alone.

"Setting up explosions," I say as if I knew that part of the plan all along. I ignore his confused look, and head to take cover. I climb/walk up high in the rocks, which proves to be a difficult. I take cover when I reach a good area, and look out below. They seem to have taken cover already, and the first of the Jaffa are coming through the forest. Due to the thickness of this part of the forest, they cannot all come out at once.

Everyone starts firing almost at once. I can hear, and sometimes feel, a blast from a staff weapon go over me. I continue firing at the small Jaffa, picking them off as they come out of the forest. However, they very quickly start coming in much larger numbers. As they approach certain areas, I learn Narim was correct in assuming Samantha had set up explosives. "Ha!" Suddenly I hear the sound of a staff weapon that is much too close. I roll over in an attempt to dodge it. The blast is coming. Ow!

_Ow! My ear! _Narim thinks.

It grazed enough to burn. I give Narim control so I can repair the damage. Narim instinctively moves his hand on his ear, and realizes that was a very bad idea. _OW! _"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."

On second thought, I think his action did stop his hair from catching fire.

Another blast goes over us, and we realize the Jaffa has gotten even closer. He's on a easier path to get here. One we didn't see.

_Stupid... _Narim aims the zat'nikatel. _...Jaffa!_ Narim fires.

The Jaffa is knocked back, and fall several feet before hitting sharp rocks. Narim moves up a little to fire again, and then ducks down. Another blast passes over. As the minutes pass, I pay more attention to Narim's burn than the fight. However the thoughts _Is that a Death Glider? _bring back my attention.

_Yes, that's a Death Glider headed right for us._ Our perfect cover from the Jaffa makes us a perfect target for the Death Glider. _Move! Move!_

Narim practically rolls off the cliff, and lands harshly on rocks below. Up on his feet, he quickly makes his way down, slipping on half the rocks. Several blasts from the Death Glider and the Jaffa hit where were just seconds before. The slipping is actually helping us move much more quickly than we otherwise could, but I'm not looking forward to reaching the bottom this way. Narim loses all footing, and falls onto his back, now completely out of control our way down. Bushes and handholds slip through his fingers, which now sting. As I feel him going airborne, I tell him to protect his head. He does, just in time for a harsh landing....and in complete view of the Jaffa.

At least no bones were broken, but he is now as the Tau'ri sometimes say, one large bruise. He also has a concussion and several small cuts on his arms, hands, and fingers. Just as Narim starts to pull himself up, Samantha comes up behind us, and drags us to her cover.

_Look what I have to heal now._

_Sorry. _Narim closes his eyes, and I feel unconscious start to take him.

_Stay awake!_

He opens his eyes. _I have a headache._

_Which is why you can't go to sleep. _I do not yet know the full extent of the damage to his head.

_Tired. _I see his vision blur as he seems to lose concept of his surroundings. Reality is drifting away.

_Stay awake!! Talk to Samantha._

He looks to her. "Sam'tha..." He smiles as she checks on him between shots. "Lant' says I have t' stay 'wake."

She looks more worried after that statement.

"B' I 'ee' 'red."

"What?"

_Concentrate on your words_, I tell him, hoping that'll help him keep conscious.

"But..I...feel..." He loses conscious.

I stay retreated so I can repair the damage as quickly as I can. I can hear that fight still happening, and Samantha is saying something to my host. To be honest I feel a bit dizzy, however, I must treat Narim first. I can't fail him.

After several minutes I feel him start to wake up. _Turn off_, he thinks, referring to ringing in his ears, not aware of what is causing it.

_I am attempting to do that by healing you._

He seems to make a mental shrug as he realizes what is causing the annoyance. Narim closes his eyes as he feels more dizzy with them open.

"Narim," says Samantha's voice.

"Sam...tha," Narim replies, which scares me. What if there is damage I cannot repair? I should have been more careful. I continue to repair the damage, afraid that I have failed another host.

Sometime after the shooting stops, though I have no idea how long it's been since his fall, Narim's vision and thoughts are normal again. "I feel better, Saman...tha" he says, still slightly out of it. I'm thrilled he was able to say that.

After a few more minutes he tries to sit up, and Samantha helps him.

"Should you be sitting up?"

"Lantash didn't tell me I couldn't."

I mentally chuckle. Narim does the same, and Samantha looks like she doesn't know if she should worry or not. Narim points to his head, which he sometimes does when referring to me. "Lantash laughed, and that makes me laugh."

At this she smiled.

Narim closes his eyes.

_No more head injuries for you, Narim. You scared the shit out of me._

He chuckles at the Tau'ri expression. _I hope not literally._

Soon we hear footsteps and a symbiote presence.

_I bet it is Jacob and Selmak_, I say.

_No, Jike and Kaid were closer. It must be them. _Narim opens his eyes.

_I win_, I mentally gloat. _Jike and Kaid were closer, but getting down would take longer...unless they get down the same way we did._

Narim blushes slightly, and closes his eyes again.

"Dad," says Samantha's voice. "How many more Jaffa would be at the ship?"

Jacob seems to hesitate. "That was more Jaffa than I realized Zar had."

I have a feeling Narim and I missed most of the fight.

"That ship is our only way out," says Daniel's voice as he approaches. His words imply what we have been delaying from the start.

Jacob speaks again. "If we go in, we need to go in now, before Zar fully realizes what happened here. He probably won't know how many Jaffa he lost right away, but I'm sure he noticed the crash of his Death Glider."

_Oh, was that what that big crashing noise was?_ Narim thinks.

"Can you walk?" Samantha's voice says.

Narim opens his eyes to confirm that question is directed at us. "Yes." Samantha helps him up, and he feels dizzy. The world seems to be spinning, and it is kind of amusing.

_That's because you are on the inside_, Narim thinks as he stabilizes. He keeps a hand on Samantha's upper arm as he starts walking. He frowns slightly as his legs are much sore than we realized. _Can you fix that?_

_I'm still working on your head injury. Then I need to fix all those cuts on your arms, hands, and fingers._

He looks at his own arms as if realizing they bleeding for the first time. As we continue to walk he is quite amazed how quickly he is healing. _You are better than some Tollan medical devices._

Always nice to be compared to medical equipment.

_Sorry_, he adds, sensing my offense to that. _I did not mean that as an insult._

The walk just to the cave take half an hour, and by then Narim is mostly healed. _Thank you_, he thinks when his legs are no longer sore. I have managed to completely heal him by the time we reach the ship. As Narim takes cover we see several Jaffa standing outside.

"We'll need to use transport rings to get onto the ship," Jacob says, and continues talking.

My mind leaves concentration on his words, and remembers the last time I faced Zar.

--

_"Where is the new Tok'ra world?"_

_"I don't know."_

_Zar lowers the ribbon device he had been using, and grabs a pain stick. I'm not tied in any way, yet I cannot move away as he brings it closer._

_PAIN!!!_

_I catch my breath as he moves away, still unable to believe how that device makes me forget everything but it's effect. I hear elements of Elliot's thoughts. He only knows he is in pain, and I'm constantly there, so it must be my fault. _Claw it out of my head_, he thinks, having forgotten my name months ago. _Carve it out with a knife.

Elliot, I'm sorry.

_He doesn't recognize his own name. He lost his mind over a year ago._

_PAIN!!!_

_"Where is the new Tok'ra world?"_

_"I..don't...know." Breathing is difficult. PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!_

_"Do you think I am foolish enough to believe that? Help yourself, Lantash, and tell me where the new Tok'ra base is."_

_"Was...in...stasis." New tears run down. I can't move. My limbs, or rather Elliot's limbs, were broken. I'm too weak and in too much pain to move even if they weren't. "Please, stop."_

_PAAAAAAAAAIN!!!_

_"I beg you to stop. I don't know. I don't KNOW." I'm glad I don't know._

_"You must have some idea."_

_"In stasis for months, perhaps years. I don't even know...what world you found me on. Please."_

_PAIN!!!_

_He's smiling now, and I think he did that just to enjoy seeing me in pain._

_PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN..........._

--

I had lost conscious after that, and woke up back in that prison. Now I'm going to board his ship, and possibly going face Zar again.

To be continued...


	8. Kor'ii

(Leo, thanks. Evil Zar is a joy to write. Telboriel, thanks. Stoko, but cliffhangers are fun. Thanks. :) )

Part 8, Kor'ii

--Lantash--

Narim tells me what I missed. I guess I should have been paying attention.

_Would you prefer I take control? _Narim asks.

I can sense he doesn't really want to be in control for this. _I can handle myself. My emotions will not distract me. _Hopefully Jacob is right, and we don't have many Jaffa to face.

Everyone takes position, and I'm pleased that the Jaffa seem to be unaware of us. The objective is to find Barm/Anguis and the missing crystal. There are two places the crystal is likely to be. Jacob and Samantha are going to search one place, while Teal'c and Daniel search the other. Kaid and I will find Barm and Anguis. We'll have radio contact.

At Samantha's signal we start firing on the guarding Jaffa. We take them down, and causiously enter the pyramid. Finding no other guards, we head for the ring transport. Jacob triggers it to take us up to the ship. I feel as if my stomach is in a knot as we ring up. I prepare to fire, but there are no Jaffa.

Quietly we split into our groups. Kaid and I head to the level that Anguis is suppose to be at. We stay near the wall, and move around corners away from the sounds of Jaffa. The groups are small, and we kill a couple of them. The guns of a Tau'ri may be effective, but they are loud and cannot make a body disappear. As we move closer to the cells, I feel as if my stomach is continuly being tied in knot after knot, and as if a weight is slowly being pressed against my chest. The zat'nikatel wants to slip out of my sweaty hands, and sometimes I can't stop trembling.

_I can't breathe._

I stop, not able to get enough breath.

_You're fine_, Narim thinks. _Take deep breaths._

"Lantash?" I hear Kaid say. "Are you all right?"

Taking deep breaths helps. _You should take over._

_Having you panic in my head isn't going to be any better. Just keep breathing, slow, nice, long breaths._

The radio sounds, and Jacob's voice comes on. I glance to Kaid. "Get that?"

He grabs it, and I continue breathing.

_That's good_, Narim thinks.

I feel as if a calm is washing over with each deep breath. My trembling soon stops, and I take a risk in taking a normal breath.

In. Out.

I did it!

I turn to Kaid to ask what Daniel said, but we hear the sound of Jaffa. We move off to take cover...in opposite directions.

_That's not good_, Narim thinks. Despite acting rather calm, I can feel he is very afraid.

_We'll just wait until they pass, and find Kaid again. It's not a...they are headed towards us._ There are too many of them, and I must retreat. I keep retreating, just staying ahead of their steps, and they every hall I pick, they pick. Every turn I make they are soon behind. The sensation of panic is returning, and it is difficult to take deep breaths while moving quickly.

I want to contact the others, but realize Kaid has the radio. Damn! At least so far I am able to stay head of the Jaffa. Finally, I reach an area, and hear not only the Jaffa behind me, but ones coming from another hall in front as well. I don't want to fight them by myself.

_Hey! _Narim thinks.

_Sorry, I meant, you know what I mean. _I take a risk, move into one of the rooms, and lock the door. I'm relieved when I hear the sound of the Jaffa passing by.

"Identify yourself!"

I freeze in terror. It's Zar.

To be continued...


	9. Searching

(Isha, thank you.  
For this chapter, they use radios, and I have no idea how military use radios. I apologize in advance if you are reading this and thinking, "That's not how they do it.")

Part 9, Searching

--Kaid--

I have no idea where Lantash went. I saw the Jaffa head in his direction, and now he is gone. I look to the radio, and press the button as I had been instructed. "Um, hello?"

"Kaid," responds Daniel's voice. "We're here."

"So are we," responds Samantha's voice.

I'm about to say "I lost Lantash," but Jike tells me that the humans might take that as Lantash was killed. "Lantash and I have been separated. I have no idea where he is."

"What happened?" It's Samantha.

"Jaffa came, and we hid in two different places. They moved in his direction, and now he is no longer in this area. I don't think they found him."

"Kaid," replies a deep voice.

"Selmak."

"Find Anguis. Samantha and I will look for Lantash." Jacob had said earlier that the missing crystal was not where they were looking.

"I'll do that."

"Don't worry. He can handle himself."

I feel slightly numb with his words.

_Perhaps you should tell them_, Jike thinks.

I feel bad, but it is probably best they know the entire situation. "I am not sure about that statement."

"Why?"

"I believe Lantash kor'iied."

"What?" Samantha asks. Her voice is distant, so I believe Selmak has the radio still.

Jacob's voice matches hers in distance. "A panic attack." Then he is back. "Kaid, where are you?"

"Level 9, section 31."

"Samantha and I are pretty near. Find Anguis, and we'll find Lantash."

"I understand." I start heading over to find Anguis.

--Narim--

Lantash turns around, and finds Zar staring at him. I feel a shudder run through my symbiote as he realizes he is in some type of interrogation room, identical to one he was brought in daily for two years.

Zar walks closer, "A Tau'ri...who's..blended."

I feel slightly insulted that he doesn't recognize me. Then I realize his forgetting me was probably why I was never tortured. Lantash still doesn't move, but just stares, afraid. _Lantash, do something!_

I don't think he even heard me.

"A most interesting combination, rare, and I come across it for a second time." Zar brings up his hand.

I see he is wearing the ribbon device. _Lantash!!_

"The last one I met was disappointing. The host went insane, and the symbiote cried, begged me to stop torturing him." The ribbon device starts to power. "They were both weak."

It actually feels as if something in Lantash snapped. "Weak?" The fear is replaced with rage. "Weak?!!" I feel his eyes flare as he grabs the nearest object, and swings it across Zar's head.

Zar stops to retreat, but has no time to react. He's knocked off his feet.

"I'm weak?!" Lantash says as he steps over to Zar. "You call me weak?!" Luckily there is no Jaffa because Lantash didn't bother checking for one.

Zar looks completely baffled. "Lantash?"

"Yes!" Lantash responds as he rips the ribbon device from Zar's arm, and throws it across the room. His anger consumes him, and I have a feeling Zar is going to regret ever capturing Lantash. Lantash stops in front of Zar as the Goa'uld starts getting on his feet. My symbiote glances to his hand, noticing the object he had grabbed was of all things, a pain stick. He looks back to Zar, and I feel my eyes glow again. "Let's see who is weak."

I was right.

--Selmak--

As I search for Lantash, I am becoming convinced he has left this section. While that makes him harder to find, that indicates a good thing. He is probably on the move, and not huddled somewhere in a corner. As soon as Kaid said what his reaction to being on the ship was I regretted bringing him here. It might have been best if he stayed in the forest, but he has his pride, and did not want to be treated differently.

--Kaid--

"Anguis?" I feel worried until I see him stir. I smile to see him alive.

Barm chuckles a bit when he sees me, though I can see he is weak. "I didn't expect to see you."

"Can you walk?"

"Yes," he says as he gets up. "I'm hungry, but I am well otherwise. I guess Selmak found you."

That reminds me. "Yes, he did." Now is not the time though.

--Daniel--

Teal'c and I found the missing crystal, and have now also been looking for Lantash. I look to some Jaffa who tried to kill us. "At the rate Zar is losing his Jaffa I think soon he is going to be the only threat on this ship."

"Then he will be weak, and could be destroyed."

If that were the case, I wonder if the ship would go to, us or the Tok'ra.

--Kaid--

"Anguis?"

Anguis takes control, and turns to me.

"What did you tell Selmak?" I had given some time after finding him before asking, however, I need to ask before we reunite with the others.

"Clarify."

"In finding the rest of us."

Anguis taps at a panel, trying to use sensors to locate our new missing Tok'ra. "I told him that I wasn't alone, and others were in the forest."

"What else?"

"Nothing."

I don't want to believe that. "You are sure?"

Anguis stops to look at me. "What else do you think I told him?"

"I thought you told him who was in the forest."

"I did not even have the time to tell him where you were in the forest. Our time to speak was very brief."

I pale slightly.

He frowns slightly. "Why do you ask?"

"..."

"Kaid, what could be so important about what I told Selmak."

"...Selmak knew about Lantash."

Anguis shakes his head. "That is not possible."

"Selmak identified him immediately."

"In front of you?"

"I was hit by a zat'nikatel, and assumed unconscious."

Anguis looks down. "Selmak knew? Selmak hasn't even spoken to the Tau'ri since...helping Samantha escape from Zar's prison." His eyes flare as he looks up at me. "Selmak knew!"

--Selmak--

After checking several rooms, we come across a locked one. Samantha quickly starts working on trying to open it.

--Lantash--

My eyes are burning.

_Actually, those are my eyes, and they feel like they are burning because you kept flaring them._

I remember seeing Zar, being frightened, and then suddenly feeling pissed. I look down as see Zar on the ground...bloody...burned. He's dead, and yet I still feel afraid. Perhaps though, that is not the issue. How did Zar die?

The answer dawns. I did this. I tortured someone to death, and I don't even really remember doing it.

Memories of the event seem to come now. I alternated burning and beating him with the pain stick. His arm became a fractured mess for all the times he tried to defend himself. He was strong at first, but then cried out for me to stop. Did I not hear him, or did I ignore him? I don't even know. I don't remember when he died, but I kept at it long afterwards. Now he is a broken body in a small pool of blood.

What have I done?

I feel angry with my own actions, and at my fear. The source of my fear is dead, and it won't leave! Why won't it leave?! I feel the pain stick drop as I fall to my knees. I try to stop the tears that come, but they are stronger. They come faster and harder than they ever have. Breathing becomes difficult, and this time I can't take deep breaths. I try, but I fail. That seems to be the thing now. I fail everything and everyone.

to be continued....


	10. Fear and Anger

(Telboriel, thanks. Interesting to hear what you were expecting. Isha, thanks. Hope you continue to love the story.)

Part 10, Fear and Anger

--Lantash--

"Lantash?"

I realize the door opened, and I hadn't registered it. Samantha called to me. I can't face her. Unfortunately she and Jacob, I assume it's Jacob, come closer.

"We've been looking for you." Her voice seems off.

_Do you want me to talk to her_, Narim asks quietly.

_Narim. I'm sorry, Narim. I'm sorry what I put you though._

_You didn't do anything wrong to me. I wanted you in control for this mission, remember?_

_Not for this. _I gesture to Zar's body.

_You were angry. I know that. I feel what you feel, remember? _He feels what I did was wrong. I can sense that, but for some reason he has no resentment towards me.

I hear Jacob speaking through the radio. "We found Lantash. He's...safe. Zar is dead."

Samantha hesitantly kneels by me.

--Selmak--

After Jacob informed the others of the situation, partly, I think we just stared for a moment. This we did not expect. I feel Jacob worry a bit for Samantha when she approaches Lantash. _He's Lantash. He's not going to hurt her...he's just...upset._

_He beat someone to death._

_He was a Goa'uld._ I don't approve either, and Jacob knows it, which makes my argument weak.

The radio sounds. "Daniel here."

Jacob picks it up. "I'm listening."

"We are as well," says Kaid's voice.

"Teal'c and I now have the control room."

"Good job."

"Actually no one was controlling it. According to the scanners there are still some Jaffa on the lower decks. Teal'c is sealing those decks."

It appears we have gained ourselves a brand new Goa'uld mother ship. I should feel pleased, and yet all I feel is worry.

--Lantash--

It's been a few hours now. I'm sitting in a corner trying to figure out where I went wrong. I look up when Samantha comes in. "Do you still wish to be left alone?"

I shake my head no.

She approaches, and sits down by me. I frown slightly. "I don't understand." I turn to her. "Zar is gone. Why do I still fear them?"

"Lantash, I don't think Zar was the base of your fear. He contributed a lot of your fear for the Goa'uld...but he wasn't the start of it."

"I started fearing them after he captured me. How is he not the base of my fear?"

She seems to hesitate.

"Please, tell me what it is you are thinking."

"Lantash...your...your a symbiote."

That statement surprises me. "Yes, I am." Is this how she sees me now? Just a symbiote?

"As long as you have been fighting the Goa'uld there was..." She shook her mind, deciding to change how to put whatever she was going to say. "There are a lot of things the Goa'uld do that make people fear them."

"Yes."

"One of the biggest fears is being taken as a host."

"That is correct." I'm still curious to where this is going.

"As long as you have been fighting them, that wasn't one of your fears. A symbiote can't take another symbiote as a host. You...that was a power they didn't have over you. They couldn't control you."

"Yes, you are correct. I never thought about it, but this is something I never had to fear."

She hesitates again. "But..."

I frown. "A Goa'uld still cannot take me as a host."

"No, but...they did make Martouf a za'tarc."

That stings.

"The very fear they never had over you, suddenly you were living it...you didn't have control."

I look away, feeling at fault. "I failed him."

"Lantash-"

"He was programmed like a machine, and I didn't notice." I turn to her. "You saved him from having to kill himself. I couldn't do anything. I tried to take over to save him, but I failed. How does a symbiote fail in taking control of a host?! I could have saved him then. I couldn't...I didn't even die with him like I was suppose to." I turn away. "I failed him. I couldn't save him so I should have died with him. I was ready and proud to die with him. Then suddenly he was gone. I don't mean he died first. I mean...he was gone, mentally and physically gone. I realized I had woken up, and that he must be dead, but I couldn't figure out where I was. I was lying on something cold and hard, but the air was hot. Breathing was difficult. There was not even a new host. No new thoughts or words. I was alone in a way I never had been since before my first host. I could sense death around me. I thought I was in some type of afterlife, and was being punished." I turn to her. "I 'escaped' briefly with Elliot. I was able to feel useful as I healed him, and helped you out of the tunnels. Elliot told you how I felt about you. I actually had hope that he and I might survive, but such hope was foolish. Then Elliot and I were going on a death mission, and I watched as you had to leave us. Things got worse from then on, as you know. In a way I lost control again. I couldn't help Elliot as he started to...go. I had no power with Zar. I couldn't be proud of keeping information from him because I honestly didn't have the answered he sought...and if I had, I felt I would have given in...betraying the Tok'ra. After blending with Narim I feared I would fail him as I had failed Martouf and Elliot." I turn to her. "I realize now, my fear it to lose control."

I'm not sure when, but I realize she is holding my hands. I smile lightly, and ask her, "Do you remember when Narim told you that every day the thought of you kept him alive?"

"Yes."

"That is true for me as well. The moment I saw you was the moment I knew my hell was over with, but I still have much healing to do." Especially now that I have again lost control. "Will you help me?"

She returned the smile. "I'll help you."

--Selmak--

I sense two symbiotes, and turn to see Kaid and Anguis. Kaid is giving me a funny look, but trying to hide it with a smile. "Selmak."

"Kaid."

"I just wanted to say, back in the forest...why didn't you shoot Lantash? You shot me."

"You've been thinking about this the entire time?" I glance from Anguis to Kaid. Have they been talking about this?

_I don't like this_, Jacob thinks.

"No, however the mission is done, and I have been thinking it over. Actually, I assumed Anguis had told you, but he didn't."

That explains how Anguis got involved. I look to him, and then back to Kaid. I resist frowning. "You are wondering why I didn't shoot Lantash." I wonder if he is suspicious about what I knew beforehand. I guess waking up and seeing Lantash and I talking must have been unexpected. "I shot you because I didn't see you at the time. I didn't want to be caught if it turned out I was sensing to two Jaffa. As soon as Lantash and I saw each other, he told me who he was."

"That would explain everything..." His expression changes, and becomes unreadable.

"Yes."

"..except, I was conscious when you first approached Lantash."

Damn!

_I told you that you should not have assumed he was unconscious_, Jacob thinks.

_That doesn't help, Jacob._

It wasn't as if I had put thought into thinking Kaid was unconscious, and so it was fine to call Lantash by name. I had been very surprised to see Lantash, and when you are surprised to see people, you tend to say their name.

Now what?

_Defend us! Or put me in control, and I'll_-

_All right. All right_, I think to my host. However, they had every right to be angry, and by the new looks on their faces, they were fairly ticked off.

Anguis steps forward. "You knew he was alive! You _knew_! Selmak! You knew what the affect Lantash's lost to the Tok'ra was, especially now!"

"For six months you kept his survival a secret." Kaid didn't yell, but his tone held more disapproval. "I could not believe at first you would do such a thing, yet here it is, the truth. You betrayed all of us. We need him."

Being told I betrayed the Tok'ra rather stings.

"We mourned him," Anguis continues, "and when learning he was alive, you kept it to yourself. Actually, you did worse than that. When you told us about the drug that counteracted the Tok'ra poison I personally asked you if Lantash could have survived. You said it was impossible!"

That wasn't entirely true. I said it was impossible unless he used a sarcophagus, knowing Anguis would assume Lantash was not put into one. Despite the situation, a laugh comes through. A small laugh, but a laugh. It is responded with a glare. "What do you plan to do with this information?"

"The Tok'ra need to know," Anguis responds.

"They need to know, or should know? Let me rephrase that question, are you angry because I let you continue to believe Lantash was dead, or are you angry because there was another Tok'ra out there, and the council didn't know about it?"

Anguis frowns slightly. "Both."

"You both claim to be his friends."

"We are."

"Yet you care nothing for what _he _wants! You know that the Tok'ra Council would want his return. You know they'd want to send him on missions. That is why you want him back. That is what you meant by saying the Tok'ra needed him. They need another Tok'ra to go out on missions. Well, that is not going to happen. He _needs _to heal. It's not a matter of wanting to feel better, or just wanting to stay on earth. If you don't believe me then take a good look at Zar's body. Tell me you were not surprised that he was beaten to death. Tell me you are not shocked that Lantash could beat someone to death!"

"We can help him," Anguis says, while I think Kaid was stunned into silence. "We have all gone through a lot, and we help each other. That is what the Tok'ra do. Yes, I was surprised when I saw what happened to Zar, but I did not judge Lantash for it. Compared to the Tau'ri the Tok'ra know far more of what the Goa'uld is capable of because we've all been through it."

"That is precisely why he should be with the Tau'ri. They don't know everything, and so can adjust better to something new. What will the Tok'ra do when their methods of healing a mind don't work?"

"How do you know it won't work?"

"I know because despite what you say, you haven't been through what he has been through. None of us has." In fact the only ones who had killed themselves, whether they wanted to or not. "His host became a za'tarc." This they knew, but I felt they needed reminding. "He lost control of his own actions, and that is something the Tau'ri can understand. Either they fear it, or they have gone through it. Then his next host went insane." Anguis and Kaid both slightly pale with that statement. "For a year he was blended with a host who had lost his mind, and Lantash's only option was to take control. He wasn't just in the prison alone with no other Tok'ra or human, but he didn't even have a host with him. Do you really think you have _any _idea what that is like?"

Anguis answers."No, but-"

"You can call me a traitor if you want, but as much as the Tok'ra care about him, they won't understand his need to be on earth. I can't stop you from telling them, but I won't. I want him to recover as quickly as he can, and he can only do that if he is somewhere he feels safe. Going on missions is steps to his recovery, and hopefully his steps to returning to us. When I write my mission for this for the Tok'ra, I will again leave him out of it. You do what you want, but know this, whatever you decide, you are going to be either betraying the council or hurting him."

With that, I leave. _Thank you_, I think to Jacob who had been helping me come up with what to say the entire time.

_You think they are going to tell?_

_I hope not._

To be continued...


	11. Byes

(Stoko, thank you. I seem to be losing reviewers. Hopefully it's the holidays, and not my writing.)

Part 11, Byes

--Narim--

While we were sitting, I pull away from the warm arms I had been in. I didn't want to, but someone was coming in the room. Jacob/Selmak enter the room. I'm not sure how, but I know Selmak is the one in control. Samantha and I both stand.

"I wish to speak with Lantash," Selmak says.

"Lantash fell asleep," is my reply. "Do you wish I wake him?"

Selmak moved his hand up lightly, and shook his head. "He has been through a lot lately. Let him rest."

That's good. After healing me so quickly, coming on the ship, the ordeal with Zar, and his emotional confession to Samantha he was exhausted.

"Anguis and Kaid figured out that I already knew Lantash was alive, and rescued him along with Samantha and Pete. I believe they plan to inform the Tok'ra council."

I feel a sense of dread. "I will inform him when he wakes."

"Thank you." Selmak nods his head, and Jacob takes control. "Samantha..." He glances to a part of the room that is far away.

As he and Samantha head to another part of the room, I have a feeling Samantha was given Watch Over Lantash duty,

--Selmak--

"How is Lantash?" Jacob asks.

"Better than he was doing. I've been talking to him, and I think Narim is also helping him."

Jacob and I can see she is worried. "How is Narim?" We worry what Narim might think of his symbiote now.

Seeming to know what I am thinking, she replies, "Narim wasn't exactly happy with Zar to begin with." The statement reminds me that Zar had tortured and killed other Tollans. "They both have a lot of healing to do, but they are helping each other."

Last question. "How are you doing?"

Samantha gives a smile that reminds me of when my previous host, Saroosh, was younger. "I've been helping both of them."

Jacob gives a slightly stern look. "That isn't what I asked." I feel his worry.

"I'm fine, Dad. Just a little tired. I'm worried what will happen to you and Selmak if the Tok'ra council learns the truth."

I should feel more worried about that, shouldn't I? I stand by my decision though. Of course we need as many Tok'ra as we can have now, but Lantash isn't well enough to go on missions. Lantash needs to stay on earth, and as cruel as this may sound I have recently realized the council needs to keep thinking he is dead. Trying to help him when they cannot will hurt him and weaken us.

_Might have wanted to mention that to Anguis and Kaid_, Jacob thinks.

I mentally shrug, and remind Jacob he should answer to what his daughter just said.

"Don't worry about Selmak and I," he responds. "We'll make our argument. As a whole, they might not agree, but there are a few people who I know would have done the same in our place." Besides that, I already lost some status with the Tok'ra. Once you lose some for saying what you believe in, losing status for doing something you believe in doesn't seem so bad. "This will hurt Lantash more than it will hurt us. They won't force him to return against his will, but they will try to convince him." I hope that doesn't wreck his relationship with the rest of the Tok'ra entirely. Martouf's last actions were to work for the Tau'ri/Tok'ra treaty, in a way dying for it, and we have broken that treaty. Lantash ended up in prison because a poison we assumed a poison we made had killed him. I imagine he is not too happy with the rest of the Tok'ra right now.

Samantha nods, but still looks worried.

Nothing more to say, she returns to Narim, who is now sitting.

---Three days later---

--Selmak--

I stand before the council giving them a report of my mission. "My mission was indeed a success. I have learned who poisoned Zar's worlds."

They seem to perk up with that, and Malek says, "Then we need to infiltrate the ranks of the Goa'uld who has done so, and remove any information he or she has on the poison."

"There is no need," I reply. "Zar poisoned his own worlds." Their expressions don't change much, but I can see that baffled them. "Zar was working for Anubis, and learned it from him. I don't know how Anubis figured it out, but thankfully he was killed before using it. Zar had lost the worlds to Ba'al, and used the poison as sabotage before giving them up. As you know, Zar is dead now, and I destroyed any information he had of the poison."

"How did Zar die?" Malek asks.

"He was dead when I found him, in the interrogation room. It appeared he had been beaten to death." It wasn't technology a lie.

"Perhaps a rebel Jaffa" one of the other council members say.

I see Malek shake his head lightly. "If he was killed by a rebel Jaffa it seems unlikely he would have been beaten to death. There might have been a prisoner that they did not discover. Someone he was questioning, but lost control. Would that be possible?"

"Yes, is it possible it was a prisoner." A really pissed off ex-prisoner.

"Is there anything else?"

"I have nothing to add."

"Very well."

"There is something else," I hear Kaid say. "Rather important."

It takes a great deal of control to not wince. Did he have to pick now to tell on me? Right after I say there is nothing to add?

Malek looks to Kaid. "What do you have to add?"

Kaid steps forward, and his glance tells me he's still angry. I see Anguis move forward as well. "We have figured out-"

"-how to repair the dialing device," Anguis adds quickly.

Kaid and Malek both give him a look that seems to say "Huh?"

Anguis takes a step closer to me and away from Kaid. It's a simple movement to the council, but it is obvious to Kaid, Jacob, and I. He's backing my decision to keep Lantash a secret. Kaid is up against two of us now. Anguis never looked away from the council, "I was able to use the crystal to repair the dialing device. Now we will not have any trouble getting off that planet should we return."

Malek looks slightly confused. I hadn't mentioned it, but it would seem kind of obvious. He turns back to Kaid. "That is what was so important?" I don't think he entirely believes Anguis.

Kaid glances to Anguis, and then looks back to Malek. "Yes."

Malek leans in slightly, and watches Kaid for a moment. Finally he leans back. "Very well."

No longer needed, I head back to my quarters. On the way I realize how tense I was. _I am surprised Anguis was the one who stood up for us. He seemed most likely the one to tell the council everything._

_Sometimes people surprise you_, Jacob thinks.

Oooh, my bed. I sit in it, and close my eyes.

"Selmak." It's Anguis.

I open my eyes and look at him.

He glances behind him, and when confirming there is no one, he approaches closer. "I am still angry. However, I realize I can only imagine what you have been through these past months, though that is not why I did what I did." He sighs softly, and pauses for a moment. His voice softens. "In your place I probably would have done the same. Lantash's needs are more important than the council's wants." He turns away, and walks a few steps. He stops, and turns back. "The next time you see him, please wish him well for me."

"I will. I'm sure he will appreciate your actions."

Anguis smiles a little at this. "Thank you." He walks away.

--Lantash--

The day we returned to earth, I moved to a new temporary home on the surface. The Tok'ra and the Tau'ri had much to discuss involving the new mother ship. In case Anguis and Kaid decided to keep quiet about me, I didn't want to accidentally wreck that by being discovered by a visiting Tok'ra. My new temporary home is actually Samantha's house.

The meetings were good news in general. I learned the council still had no idea I am alive, and the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri finally settled into sharing the ship. I have no idea how that will work out, but since both had equal claim and are stubborn, that was the end agreement.

It's been a few weeks, and tonight I want to briefly forget all that. Instead I have two very important people in mind, my previous hosts. Samantha helped me get permission to have a small funeral service in the gateroom. Despite the place being public, the service itself is private, just Samantha and me.

"I'll start with Elliot." I stand on the ramp in front of the chaapa'ai itself, looking down at the last place on earth he stepped. I kneel down, and place down a picture of him. "I only knew you for a short time, but you saved me more than you realized...my life and my mind. Wherever your spirit is now, I must believe it has reunited with your mind. I thank you for everything you have given me. I apologize for everything you lost as a result. I hope the next life is rewarding."

I gives Narim control so he may speak. He kneels down. "I only really spoke to you once. It was the day you first came to prison. I didn't know what you had been through. I knew it was a lot, but despite that, you had hope. You said that after what you survived so far, there was not any way you couldn't survive longer. You gave a lot of people, including me, a lot of lost hope that day. For that, I thank you."

Narim retreated, and I drop white flowers over Elliot's picture, imitating a burial with flowers on the grave.

I then move in front of the place Martouf was killed. Samantha was able to get a picture of him through old security tapes. I made sure it was a small picture for what I plan, and cut away the background. I wrap the picture in cloth, and set it down in a large, shallow, ceramic dish. "For 104 years we shared everything. You were very young when we blended, but I learned a lot from you. For most, 104 years is a long time, but that limit with you is much too short. Find everyone you lost in your life, and hopefully in thousands of years, I will join you." I smile lightly. "You can finally introduce me to your family then. I hope you are patient."

I give Narim control, and ask him if he wishes to speak. He looks at the wrapped picture for a moment, and then says, "Martouf...we never met that I know of, but...I promise for the next century I'll take care of Lantash for you."

I mentally chuckle to that.

"Uh, Samantha?" Narim looks to her.

She looks a little surprised, and looks down at the wrapped pictured. "Thank you..." She starts whispering.

I temporary dull Narim's hearing so we don't accidentally hear what she is saying to Martouf. I return it when she stops whispering, and then take control. As I start a chant that Martouf made me memorize, I circle the small area thirteen times, which isn't easy since he died next to the ramp. Samantha follows, but is quiet since she did not have time to memorize thirteen verses in a language she never heard of.

Afterwards I set the wrapped picture on fire, and then we hurry out since by Martouf's beliefs, no one is allowed to be there before the fire stops burning, and paper burns very quickly.

I close my eyes briefly, feeling better now that I have officially said goodbye to both of them. Now I really feel like I can start moving on.

(Should I end it here, or end it with Sam and Narim/Lantash's second date? This ending it kind of depressing.  
Blue Banrigh, in case you were wondering, Malek being on the council was just for you. lol. I didn't use him instead of Anguis or Kaid because he seems too dedicated to the Tok'ra to lie to the council.)


	12. Second Date

(Due to request, this story ends with a second date. Thank you, Stoko. Telboriel, I hope you had a good Christmas as well. Thanks. Isha, yes, that would be suspicious, wouldn't it, lol. ::watches Isha check to see what she wrote in her review:: Happy New Year everyone.)

Part 12, Second Date

--Lantash--

_Next date, we pick out our own clothes._

_Is there something wrong with this?_ Narim thinks he looks in the mirror. We are wearing a dark blue polo shirt, black slacks, and black dress shoes. He starts combing his hair.

_Your hair is fine. Stop combing it._ I hear a mental chuckle in return.

There is a knock on the door. "Are you two ready?"

Narim sets the comb down. "We are ready." He opens the door, and sees a very beautiful Samantha. Not that she isn't always beautiful. Samantha is wearing a blue strapless dress. _Now it the time to tell her how beautiful she looks, not the time to stare._

_Sorry. _"You look beautiful Samantha."

She smiles. "You look good yourself."

Narim smiles more, and I take control. "Thank you. He is correct. You are more beautiful as a Lillirian sunset over the ocean." I grin. "I'll have to take you to Lillirian someday, and show you their sunset." I take her arm, and give Narim control again.

She drives us to a movie theater, and we pass people standing in line. "I bought the tickets online," Samantha says as we enter the building. She approaches a booth, and gets tickets from them. "We have to get popcorn," she says after passing a man who ripped our tickets in half.

Narim and I are both confused. "But we are going to eat after the movies," Narim says, and then looks to the man who is ripping someone else's ticket. "Why did he rip our tickets?"

"That way we cannot try to give the tickets to someone outside. If the tickets weren't ripped then they could get in on the same tickets." She brings us to a line. "We have to have at least popcorn at the movies. It's kind of a tradition. What do you want to drink?"

"I am not thirsty."

"You will be once you start eating the popcorn."

Narim looks over the choice of beverages. _Any preferences?_

_Not Sprite. _That was nasty.

_Root Beer?_

_Sure._

He turns to Sam. "Root Beer."

After getting to the front Sam orders Root Beer, Diet Coke, and a large popcorn. That is a lot of popcorn. After she leads us into a dark room with a huge screen and several seats. As I follow her down one of the aisles I notice this part of the floor is a little sticky. Ew. We sit in what Samantha says are the best seats. After eating some popcorn Narim learns it does make him thirsty. I bet they put something in the popcorn to make you thirsty so you buy their drinks.

I watch picture after picture show on the big screen. Most of it seems to be advertisement, but sometimes there is a question I do not know the answer to. "They should have easier questions," Narim says.

"Well, they are easier if you watch more movies," Samantha says.

Several other people come in, and find places to sit. Eventually I'm seeing the same trivia questions on the screen again. Narim whispers the answers to Samantha, since we memorized the answers from before.

"That's cheating," she laughs lightly.

"It does not say those who saw the question before cannot answer."

The theater darkens, and Narim glances around wondering who turned them off. No one is reacting, so this appears to be normal. It also gets very loud as we watch previews for movies. "It's a bit of a tease to get you interested in movies you cannot watch yet," Narim says.

After the previews the big screen asks us not to make any extra noise, so Narim and I refrain from doing so. We switch control back and forth while watching _The Incredibles_. Narim jokingly keeps telling me to shush as I predict what will happen in the movie, and makes a few predictions himself. We decide whoever predicts the most correct gets to be in control the most during the rest of the date.

I win by two predictions, that is, I made two correct predictions, and his were all wrong.

_Maybe we should watch more earth movies so we can predict better_, Narim thinks as he gives me control.

_Tau'ri movies do tend to be unrealistic._

"How did you like the movie?" Samantha asks as we walk to her car.

"I predicted two things, " I reply. I tell her what I predicted, using "host voice" since "symbiote voice" would draw attention.

"That's great. What did Narim predict?"

"Several things, but none correctly."

Samantha smiles, and then drives us to a restaurant.

"As much as I enjoyed our first day, I believe I do prefer this one," I say.

"Why's that?"

"Well, already it is longer, and also I am not as nervous. My only preference with the first date was that Narim and I were truly able to be ourselves."

Sam nodded lightly. "I am not an alien here, but I know the feeling of hiding. The hardest was having to lie to Dad."

"That after he found a way for you to be an astronaut?"

"Yeah, he mentioned that?"

"A few times."

Samantha parked the car, and we followed her into the restaurants. "We have a reservation under Carter."

The man looked it up, and then showed us to a table.

"I like these chairs," I say as I sit. "Some chairs in restaurants are very uncomfortable."

_That's pretty odd to hear from a Tok'ra_, Narim thinks. _I've seen your chairs. I've sat in it one once, and it's like an instant backache._

"Some places do that so you won't sit there longer than needed, taking up space."

"Well, that's very rude." I give Narim control so he may speak. He continues with what I am saying. "On Tol-"

_In Tollana. Make it sound like a city_, I think.

He pauses briefly. "In Tollana the...restaurants are much kinder to the customers. All the chairs are designed so one can be comfortable while eating." He gives me control again, and we start looking at the menu.

We soon give our orders, and then start discussing the movie.

_The service is faster on Tollana too_, Narim thinks after we waited several minutes for the food.

_Yes, but here the food is prepared and cooked by actual people, _I think back, _not computers._

_Computer are-ooh, drinks. I'm thirsty._

_That's because you ate so much popcorn._

_It was strangely addicting._

After discussing the movie, we discuss the previews, which Samantha seems to find amusing.

"Most people don't have discussions about the previews they saw," Samantha says.

"I still believe that if they are going to get you interested in something, then you should be able to watch it sooner. A month later at the most, not a year later."

"By then you will have heard about the movie already. I enjoy movie previews because usually it's shows a movie I don't know about. Besides you enjoy a movie more if you have been waiting longer for it."

"What if you are waiting longer, and the movie is not good."

"Then you are that much more disappointed. I don't watch much movies anyway, so I make sure I only watch the good ones."

"So you let others watch it first, and they tell you if you'll like it or not."

"Something like that."

Our dinner comes, and Narim is now nervous about which fork to use. _Which one do I use?_

_I don't know._

He picks up the slightly larger fork after seeing Samantha do so. As we eat, we wait to see when she starts using the other fork. I ask her a bit about her military career pre-SGC. Narim tells her a bit more about his job while trying to make it sound like a job on earth. After dinner is done we see she never did use that second fork. Strange.

Afterwards we look at the dessert menu, but decide not to order anything from it.

"That was a interesting meal. Thank you," I say as we get into the car.

"You didn't like it?" she asks, judging from my tone.

"I enjoyed the tastes. Narim did not like chicken. He said 'I don't know what they did with it, but it tastes funny.' So I blocked his perception of taste while I enjoyed it." Narim takes control. "Well, it did taste funny. I enjoyed the rice and vegetables, but the chicken tasted funny."

"Probably whatever spice they added to it."

We arrive at her house, and go inside. "May I walk you to your room?" I ask.

She smiles. "For the good night kiss?"

I control the reaction to slightly blush. "Yes."

"How about I walk you to your room?"

"Do I still get a kiss?"

She laughs lightly. "Yes."

"All right then, you may walk me to my room."

On the way to the room I give Narim control since I was the one who started the kiss last time. He takes her hands as he starts to kiss her. All his movements are more gentle than mine. His eyes remain closed after the kiss, and he enjoys the shivery warmth moving through him. His hands are still holding hers as I take control, and kiss her again. I let go of one hand and touch her lower back. I smile afterwards. "Good night, Samantha."

She is smiling as well. "Good night Lantash." She lets go of my hand, and her fingers move up my arm, lightly touching skin. "Good night, Narim."

I smile more, trying to think of something to extend the date a few seconds more. "Sweet dreams, Samantha."

"Sweet dreams." Her hand pulls away, seeming to take warmth with her. Funny how the lack of her touch always does that. I watch her walk away before going into my room.

The End


End file.
